


like pieces into place

by cadyjanis



Series: jaren [1]
Category: Mean Girls - Richmond/Benjamin/Fey
Genre: Angst, Crushes, Dancing, F/F, First Kiss, Hurt/Comfort
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-26
Updated: 2018-10-26
Packaged: 2019-08-07 11:12:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,033
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16407398
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cadyjanis/pseuds/cadyjanis
Summary: janis’s wet palms are streaked with mascara, but she reaches up to unlock the door, resigned to her fate. it can’t get much worse than this, and karen seems sincere. she typically wears her heart on her sleeve, and it’s made of gold.who knew a plastic could be nice. maybe karen is just plastic on the outside.—janis and karen bond at spring fling.





	like pieces into place

**Author's Note:**

> i was inspired and wrote this in like an hour the other night pls enjoy

“Just go ask her to dance, I’m one hundred percent positive she’ll say yes.”

 

Cady gives Janis a supportive shove, but the taller girl refuses to budge. Chewing her lip, she continues to stare longingly in Karen Smith’s direction, unsure what to do.

 

“Janis.” Cady takes Janis’s hand in both of hers and squeezes, coaxing Janis’s eyes away from Karen to Cady’s kind face. “I _know_ she’ll say yes,” Cady tells her. “She’ll just be thrilled somebody wants to dance with her.”

 

“But it’s me,” Janis mumbles, shuffling her feet awkwardly.

 

“And?” Cady argues gently. She waves a hand dismissively. “She won’t care. It’s Karen. She hasn’t held a grudge a day in her life, even when she’s been well within her right to.”

 

When Janis still doesn’t seem convinced this will turn out alright, Cady sighs and says, “Look, you aren’t going to know til you try. You’ll go home tonight regretting it if you don’t. I know you—it’s gonna eat you up.”

 

Janis makes a face, but only because Cady is right. Spring Fling is only once a year; school will be out in two months and she probably won’t see Karen all summer.

 

And that makes her bizarrely, weirdly, strangely, downright peculiarly sad.

 

Damian would call it a crush. Which is crazy. And terrifying. But true.

 

Even after all this time, Janis likes Karen. Karen, who has never explicitly made fun of her for being gay, who was always nice to her when they were kids, who smiles at her when they pass in the hall.

 

Janis takes a deep breath. It’s now or never, for forever.

 

Karen is at the refreshments table now, chugging the last of her punch so she can refill it. She dips her cup directly in the bowl rather than use the ladle, and Janis grins, endeared.

 

Karen brightens when she sees Janis approaching, and waves ecstatically. “Janis, hi,” she greets, beaming from ear to ear. That makes Janis feel a little better, though Karen probably spiked her own drink with something, and she’s happy to see basically anyone. Janis tells herself not to be too full of it. Karen would smile the same at the custodian.

 

“Hey, Karen,” Janis says softly, avoiding eye contact, now wondering where to go from here. She didn’t exactly prepare a speech or write down what she wanted to say.

 

Karen tilts her head to the side, forcing their eyes to meet. “You okay, Jan?”

 

_Fuck._ Only Damian calls her that, but now that Karen did Janis is vividly remembering how she said it first. “Uh—yeah,” Janis mumbles, her heart pounding in sync with the music beating around them.

 

“Did ya want something?” Karen inquires then, either not picking up on Janis’s discomfort or doing so and attempting to help her get to the point. Karen is more observant than people give her credit for, and seems genuinely curious as to why Janis Sarkisian, of all people, walked up to her at Spring Fling.

 

Janis glances over her shoulder at Cady, who gives her a thumbs up prior to resuming her conversation with Aaron. Janis can’t help but feel a twang of jealousy at how easy it is for them to hold each other as they sway back and forth. Janis isn’t the only non-straight girl in school—Sonja and Grace are very publicly making out in her peripheral—but she suddenly, inexplicably feels alone, and stupid for thinking this would work. It doesn’t matter what Cady thinks Karen will do; Janis isn’t sure and can’t trust Karen won’t laugh at her.

 

She sees Karen’s smile fade as she turns away and stalks off into the crowd towards the gymnasium exit. “Wait!” Karen is shouting, voice subdued by the music and ringing in Janis’s ears. “Janis, wait, where ya going?”

 

Janis pushes against the door with her whole body, a strangled sob escaping her despite her best efforts to keep it locked inside her chest where it belongs. She rarely cries—the last time she shed tears was after her fight with Cady. But it’s like all those bottled up feelings are rising to the surface, demanding to be felt and conveyed after years of not properly being dealt with. It’s just raw pain, memories and anguish eating her alive.

 

It’s more than an old crush coming back full force. She’s just angry, pissed at herself for trying to talk to Karen and pissed at Cady for coming to North Shore and pissed at Regina for destroying her chances at being normal. She’s the fucked up, traumatized bitch she is today because of Regina.

 

She never told Karen how she felt, and now she never will because she’s too scared to be honest. As if it would amount to anything—Karen is straight, as far she’s aware. Wanting to dance with her was really dumb.

 

Janis is crying so hard she can’t see where she’s going, her legs carrying her fast down the dark, empty hallway until she’s busting into the girls’ bathroom, also unoccupied. She locks herself in a stall and lets the sobs overwhelm her, feeling just as disgusting and dirty and lonely as the day she was outed.

 

After a couple minutes, the door squeaks open, and someone’s heels clack on the floor. They approach Janis’s stall, where she’s not planning on leaving anytime soon, and then there’s a knock on the door.

 

“Janis,” Karen says, sounding uncharacteristically firm, but worried. “Janis, open the door. Let me help, please. I’m sorry if I upset you, I don’t know what I did, but I wanna make it right. You ran off so fast, I…” She trails off, and Janis emerges a bit from her hands, quieting to listen. “I’m sorry.”

 

Janis’s wet palms are streaked with mascara, but she reaches up to unlock the door, resigned to her fate. It can’t get much worse than this, and Karen seems sincere. She typically wears her heart on her sleeve, and it’s made of gold.

 

Who knew a Plastic could be nice. Maybe Karen is just Plastic on the outside.

 

Karen steps in and relocks the door, then kneels in front of Janis, somehow balancing on those heels. “Hi,” she whispers, patting Janis’s elbow. “Talk to me, honey.”

 

Janis sniffs and swipes at her eyes, pressure tight in her chest. She very much would like to keep crying, but now that she has company, she won’t allow herself to break down. She hates being vulnerable.

 

“It’s not you,” Janis eventually murmurs thickly. “You didn’t…do anything wrong. And you didn’t have to come after me, either. You can…go back to the dance, Karen. I’ll—I’ll be fine.”

 

Karen gives her a look. “Jan. Come on. You were gonna talk to me, and now you’re in here crying.”

 

Janis lifts a shoulder guardedly. “I guess I panicked,” she admits hoarsely.

 

Karen raises her eyebrows. “About what?” she probes.

 

Now Janis makes the mistake of looking at her, their eyes meeting, and she feels an ancient flutter reawakening in her gut. “I was…gonna ask if you…wanted to dance,” she hears herself say, like her brain is detached from her body, speaking like a pilot would to a plane full of people. “But then I realized how stupid that was, and I’d only embarrass myself—”

 

“That’s not stupid,” Karen interrupts, aghast. “Why would that be stupid? I’d _love_ to dance with you. Are you kidding? Oh my God. Nobody’s asked me to dance with them all night.”

 

That’s strangely comforting, and then Janis feels bad for Karen. “For real?”

 

Karen shrugs. “It’s whatever. I’m not a great dancer, anyway. Besides, people-watching is fun. But—I’d dance with you. If you had asked five minutes ago, I would’ve said yes.”

 

Janis stares at her incomprehensibly. “Like…as a last resort, or do you…I mean, you don’t care about being seen dancing with another girl? With—with me?” Her heart is racing again, but soaring with hope this time.

 

Karen’s smile is impish and sweet. “Well, yeah,” she affirms, taking Janis’s hands. “I don’t care. No one else will, either. It shouldn’t matter who’s dancing with who, especially you. I mean, after your speech last week, I think people respect you a lot now. So, ya know, just get out there and dance. With me, or with some other lucky girl, or even by yourself. I love to dance by myself. That’s not weird. But—I would like to dance with you.”

 

Janis gapes. She can’t believe her ears. It’s not a direct confirmation that Karen isn’t straight, but if she thinks she’s lucky that Janis wants to dance with her, that means something.

 

“So, c’mon.” Karen stands now, tugging on Janis’s hands to urge her to do the same. “Let’s dance.”

 

“I can’t,” Janis mumbles, pointedly ignoring her reflection in the bathroom mirrors. “I look like shit. I cannot go back out there looking like this, I’ll scare everybody away.”

 

Karen giggles. “Since when do you care what other people think? Also, it’s dark in there. And you’ll be with me. No one’s gonna be analyzing your face, trust me. They’ll be staring at my legs.” She tosses her blonde hair.

 

Janis is startled into a mini laughing fit, doubling over, one hand still linked with Karen’s. Karen laughs, too, but isn’t too sure what’s so funny. When Janis semi recovers, she says, “I mean, I can go get my makeup bag and fix you up. Unless…I dunno, you wanted to just dance in here for a while.”

 

Janis’s throat is tight again, but now with fondness for Karen. “Um—sure.”

 

Karen pauses. “Makeup or dancing?” she asks, since Janis didn’t specify.

 

“Oh! Um—dance. Dancing,” Janis fumbles, now unable to take her eyes off of Karen’s face.

 

Karen retrieves Janis’s phone from her jacket pocket and taps into Spotify, humming as she looks for a song. She sets the phone down on the counter and hits play, and the opening notes of a vintage jazz song fill the bathroom.

 

Karen rolls her eyes when Janis looks at her in surprise. Then she steps closer, aligning her feet with Janis’s, and after the two figure out the proper placements for their hands, they begin to sway.

 

_Kiss me once, kiss me twice_

_Kiss me once again_

_It’s been a long, long time_

 

_It definitely has,_ Janis thinks, grinning as she spins Karen around, pulling her back even closer.

 

_Haven’t felt like this, my dear_

_Since can’t remember when_

_It’s been a long, long time_

 

Despite what she said, Karen is actually a good dancer, and it’s not nearly as awkward as Janis was expecting. They waltz around the bathroom like a medieval couple at a ball, and it’s the safest Janis has felt in a long time.

 

Regina has stolen things from a lot of people. Telling by how happy and shy Karen is, being so close to another girl in the intimate art of dance, her own freedom to be herself was stifled.

 

Janis doesn’t need Karen to say it out loud to understand how she feels. She almost looks mystified, like she can’t believe this is happening but she’s so grateful that it is—like she didn’t know this was something she wanted until she had it. It’s a beautiful thing, the way girls who like girls can convey that without using words.

 

The song swells, and Janis can feel it inside her, filling like a balloon. She doesn’t hesitate prior to ducking her head, and Karen tilts her chin up the slightest bit to meet her halfway. Their lips touch, and Janis doesn’t feel dirty anymore. She is the most pure she’s ever been, and also the most peaceful.

 

Janis hasn’t known peace in a long time. But right now, as Karen kisses her back, tentative and soft and inquisitive, all the things Regina and everyone else have said about her fizzle out like the end of a long-burning fire.

 

Something new ignites between them, and Janis welcomes the heat of it. It’s not a burn this time, but a warmth. The song ends, a similar one begins. And everything falls into place.

**Author's Note:**

> thank you for reading! kudos and comments are fetch ♡


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